“Can we have quiet in Drapers?” (Results Party Match Report)

qm elections banner 1

After 21 days of campaigning (being ignored by undergrads in library square), the season of bullshit has finally, and thankfully, come to an end – an end which was marked with anti-climactic scenes of debauchery, heartache, and celebration at Drapers Bar & Kitchen (because where else).

READ: Candidates’ videos reviewed
GAWP: The season of bullshit in pictures (UPDATED)
Results night as it happened

It was like entering a cauldron of fire for the candidates, and especially for myself, as I realised at one stage I was surrounded by people I had been publicly and mercilessly ‘slagging off’ ever since their names, photos, and policies were made public; plastered all over campus and the students’ union website.

Nevertheless, the powers what be ingeniously decided to stagger the 7pm start time – first moving the announcement to 7:30pm, then to 8:00pm, then to 8:15pm, in order to delay the inevitable mass exodus to the New Globe, because it’s a better bar.

Eventually the results were filtered through by part-time stand-up Sarah Sarwar who, twelve months ago, sat somewhere amongst us peasants making vague pledges about giving back to us, the peasants, the keys to the union.

(Presumably she wasn’t talking about the media room key, which earlier this year was the subject of an egotistic, bureaucratic spat – after certain members of the Hub’s reception desk, who like to view themselves as the official and all-might Gatekeepers to the Students’ Union – blacklisted members of student media from entering their own place of workBut that’s a different story entirely.)

Tensions were raised. And candidates were nervous. With help from Sean Richardson, who played the role of RON (taking this overused and unfunny joke  into the physical realm) the positions were announced one-by-one over the speaker system to the relentless crowd of cheering drunks.

Reports from beyond the capital, however, revealed the QMSU live stream, which reports indicate cost a total 20 pieces of silver to implement, faced a number of challenging issues. Particularly – that the names of the winners couldn’t be heard over the sounds of whooping, mostly because the names were shown on screen two seconds before Sarah could even come close to reading them off her flimsy sheet.

The night descended into chaos when the Sabbatical winners were announced – with candidates, campaigners and pundits all breaking down in displays of joy, or dismay.

"Crisp and fresh, welcome to your new QMSU President! #electionsfashionwatch #qmelections #bnocstatus" (via @cubmagazine)

“Crisp and fresh, welcome to your new QMSU President! #electionsfashionwatch #qmelections #bnocstatus” (via @cubmagazine)

Dola Osilaja, Sam Rowles, Carolina Mantzalos, and Mashalle Asim, will be the 2014/15 sabbatical team.

After we had sucked our union venue for all its worth, (which did not take very long), we headed to the New Globe, where all sorts of things happened that I couldn’t possibly report on.

Coming soon, a full season in review, my major concerns on campus (and how to fix them), plus very possibly a short comment on how to realistically win the student elections. hint: It’s not about what you know, it’s about…


Man of the match | Sam Doherty (MILITANT MAN)

sam doherty militant

The former militant-man-turned-moderate-turned-militant-man took the ‘party garotte’ he had been toeing for the past three weeks, using it to murder all sense of moderation he had spent time building over the previous few weeks. Donning the warrior squirrel onesie, facepaint warpaint, and a smile, Sam exuded a very “I don’t particularly care about things” sort of attitude all evening. What a maverick.

Dick of the day | Myself (keumars.com)

me - dick of the dayWhere do we begin? Forgetting to fully charge my computer, stealing a bowl of Doritos from the candidates banquet, getting myself head butted by Ed Sheeran’s friend, and then drinking so much that I barely dragged into the following morning’s lecture to deliver half of a presentation on the molecular pathways involved in oesophageal cancer; that I had not contributed very much towards in the first place.

Most memorable moment | Mashalle Asim wins VP Welfare

mashBy writing any more about Mashalle I run the risk of having my house burned down, but the most memorably moment of the night was when the dark horse stormed the race for VP Welfare – winning a large majority over her rivals Frances Larke, Sam Doherty, Kayah Abdulmajed, and Megan Morrison-Sloan. The second year student proved just how [redacted for fear of physical assault].


Best Tweeter | @cubmagazine

CUBThe university’s magazine covered the results party flawlessly, posting pictures, and actually tweeting. Yes, the results were rattled off so fast it was basically pointless even trying to keep up. So the Cub team took it upon themselves to tweet pictures of the evening in general, while keeping us up-to-date with the ongoings at, what you would probably be hard-pressed for admitting to be, the party.


Best Quote | Sarah Sarwar (Open Union)

QMSU PResident“Can we have quiet in Drapers?”
Sarah Sarwar, QMSU President.
Transparency – it seems – isn’t the only outlandish Open Union elections demand.

The election winners are listed in full, below. 

Sabbatical Positions

President: Dola Osilaja

Vice-President Barts & The London: Sam Rowles

Vice-President Welfare: Mashalle Asim

Vice-President Education: Carolina Mantzalos

Cross-campus positions

Student Trustees: Ali Jawad, Mika Schroder, Ben Gray

NUS Delegates: Katarina Nordanger, Ozzy Amir, Sam Playle, Sam Doherty

Student Council Chair: Samer Haque 

Student Media Officer: Hannah Ballard

Commercial Services Officer: Asnton Chang

Mile End positions

Humanities & Social Science Rep: Matt Mahmoudi, Raifa Rafiq 

Science & Engineering Rep: Imram Hussein, (James Crowe & Sarah Anderson)

Postgraduate Research Rep: No candidates

Postgraduate Taught Rep: Sam Miles

International Education Rep: Evelina Gocheva

International Welfare Rep: No candidates

Disabled Students Rep: Matilda Marcillo

LGBT Rep: Adam Sparkes

Multi-cultural Rep: Sara Ramjean

Women’s Rep: Ellen Tansey 

Welfare Rep: Jacq Bridge

Societies Officer: Stella Tsantsekidou  

Sports Officer: Nuran Ozyurt

Volunteering Officer: Lakshika Nadarajah

Barts & The London Positions

Pre-clinical Rep: Chris Smith

Clinical Rep: Adel Bopari

Dental Rep: Nima Sakthithasan

Postgraduate Research Rep: No candidates

Postgraduate Taught Rep: Alidad Daftari

International Rep: Rarmadha Kali

Welfare Rep: Mag Sheekey

Campaign’s Officer: James Lambert

LGBT Rep: Anna King

Multi-cultural Rep: Husein Iqbal

Vice-President Barts: Oliver Tampleasure

Vice-President London: William Atkins

RAG Officer: Katie Lock

Societies Officer: Will JB Atkins

Sports Officer: Aleksander Rula

Volunteering Officer: Harriete Pearson

Dental Society President: Ankur Patel

External Affairs Officer: No candidates

Alumni Officer: Dave Vedage

Secretary: Oliver Johnson

Entertainments Officer: No candidates


One thought on ““Can we have quiet in Drapers?” (Results Party Match Report)

  1. Pingback: Season in Review: We can laugh about it now, right? | Keumars Afifi-Sabet

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s