A lifelong Labour Party member has accidentally voted for the Green Party in today’s European Parliament and Local Council Elections, after drinking himself into a stupor, it has emerged.
Having downed a bottle of Grey Goose in the early hours of Thursday morning to mentally prepare himself for the odorous task of voting once more for a party he barely identifies with anymore, Mr Larry Davidson ended up voting for the media-shy EU wild cards.
But Mr Davidson conceded: “It felt liberating, to be honest. I thought, what could possibly go wrong if my vote actually reflected my true opinions on stuff?”
“Sure, I don’t know any of the candidates, or how fast their leader can down a pint; and sure, the Tories will probably sneak into the council as a direct consequence. Oh dear God, what have I done?”
Mr Davidson’s case reflects a bizarre trend of disgruntled Labour voters almost switching their allegiances to the Green Party because they have no idea what on Earth Ed Miliband is playing at, but chickening out at the last minute because they have no idea their lefty mates are thinking exactly the same thing as they are.
Meanwhile, Sheila from Hertfordshire, decided she would cast her ballot for Ukip, in the hope that her party of choice, the Conservatives, would “sort themselves out”.
She said: “No, I don’t really like racism, or ale, but voting Ukip’s the only way I can send Dave a message that we don’t want minorities here, or Cornish folk, or the bloody Romanians, coming over here, standing by cash machines 92% of the time.”
Nigel Farage was unavailable for comment – but we tried really, really hard to get ahold of him.