Days of Future Past deletes Brett Ratner from history

brett ratnerThis post contains mild spoilers.

The Rush Hour director Brett Ratner has been missing presumed eliminated from our timeline following the release of Bryan Singer’s X-men retcon revamp Days of Future Past last week.

Mr Ratner’s sudden disappearances has not yet been explained, though some believe the overwhelming shame of having almost ruined the entire X-men franchise, only for Bryan Singer to return and clean up his mess, drove him to join Mel Gibson in Hollywood reclusion.

But a more widely accepted theory is that the time travel elements in the newest release actually served to remove Ratner from the history of mankind itself.

A leaked version of the script’s first draft showed that Wolverine was “[being] sent back to the 1970s to unite the X-men and ensure Brett Ratner never happened by any means necessary.” Ratner himself was to set feature as a character, played by Sasha Baron Cohen.

Shortly after writing the first iteration, however, Singer learned of a way to erase the director from real life by forging a blood pact with the Dark Lord Cthulu, in return for 12 per cent royalties from Days of Future Past and all future X-men franchise films including any half-baked demi-mutant spin-offs.

When asked about the missing director, a woman alleged to be Bratner’s mother, said: “Who?”


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s