Breaking. Government minister tells truth

Nick BolesbIn an unprecedented twist in the Conservative party’s confusing dance with Europe, a junior minister has reportedly told the truth in an interview earlier today.

Nick Boles, the Minister of State for Skills and Enterprise, revealed: “We may never be able to control [free movement] entirely, because it’s a fundamental principle of the EU, but it will be very hard for the British people to accept that, for as long as Britain remains the most dynamic economy in the EU, we’re going to be the net recipient of a very large amount of immigration every year.”

“And it’s going to be hard to bring those people back onboard. That’s a challenge both to the Labour Party and to us almost equally. It’s something we have to respond to, not because of an economic argument. Politics isn’t all about economics.”

To which the journalist who was speaking to him at the time replied: “Yeah, well obviously. We’ve all known about this for years.”

A Downing Street spokesperson said: “Oh for fuck’s sake.”

David Cameron himself was not available for comment since he does not plan on finding out that any of this happened until Thursday.

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