Ed Miliband denies he ‘tried tax avoidance’ at Uni

Ed-Miliband-540x375The Labour leader told reporters at a press conference that he has not tried tax avoidance, despite rumours he dabbled in such schemes when he was a student.

An aide to Ed Miliband said: “It’s something that may or may not have happened to a schoolboy 20 years ago, and I don’t think it really has any serious political pull today.”

“To be quite honest, most of our generation did [avoid tax]. I mean it was kind of the odd ones out who didn’t.”

The news comes as leaked files from HSBC show that an international network of bankers helped smuggle a host of such tax avoidance schemes across borders in a multi-billion dollar operation.

The British tax authorities, spearheaded by HMRC’s Lin Homer, meanwhile confirmed that one conviction, in over 1000 cases of wealthy criminals withholding money legally owed to the taxpayer, represented a “good and effective job” for the taxpayer.

Lord Fink said: “Sure. Everyone tries tax avoidance at one time in their life or another. I’ve tried the vanilla kind, strawberry cheesecake, and I’m not proud to admit that I’ve even had the double-chocolate deluxe on a very messy night.”

An HSBC clerk, who goes by the name Jimmy the Wrench, later confirmed: “Sure I mighta dealt some schemes to a bigwig or two, who wants to know?”

The Tory peer was incidentally subject to leaks as it was revealed his most listened-to track on Spotify was Under Pressure by Vanilla ISA.

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