If the next leader of the Labour party is to stand any chance of becoming Prime Minister, he or she must appeal to the British public’s inner sense of behaving like a total bastard, according to a leading think tank.
Barry Barry, Bastard-in-Chief from the Institute for Bastards, said: “The next Labour leader could be a slimy bastard, a calculating bastard, even a selfish bastard.”
The Institute for Bastards released a research paper this week suggesting that Labour did not make enough of an effort in the general election to attract the support of total bastards.
He added: “Ed Miliband was more of a ruthless bastard. But he couldn’t eat food properly. Ultimately, that’s what mattered.”