The rover Curiosity recently failed to detect methane on Mars. What might this result mean for Mars’ present or past habitability?

This is my final year dissertation in full. It was submitted on 21 March 2014 and scored 100 per cent. Minor edits were made, but little more than small changes in phrasing. References have been included at the end. Section 1. Abstract 1.1 Abstract Section 2. A Brief History of Methane Detection 2.1 Initial Findings 2.2 Methane, and the…

Graduation week? It’s going to be awesome!

Isn’t it amazing? I’m graduating this week. “Oh it’s brilliant – I can’t wait,” sputtered one soon-to-be graduate in a bout of late-onset prickishness. The latest victim of my Twitter cull joins thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, up and down the country in congratulating themselves for somehow miraculously achieving what droves of their peers have also somehow miraculously achieved. Beaming images of former students…

Local journalism is so much more than chasing down runaway ave

Having just about recovered from a brief stint at the Observer, I spent a week preparing for a placement at the Ham & High – my (as referred to by morons) local rag. I’d been told to put together three news pitches, and three features. But tougher still was having to deal with the wild preconceptions my mind had somehow conjured. ‘How…

Once you’ve been spat from the bubble, you’d do anything to get back in. Anything.

Last week saw Queen Mary stage its annual East London Higher Education Convention in association with UCAS (the number one source of frustration for sixth formers up and down the country). Thousands of schoolchildren, grins sickeningly stretched across their putridly cheerful faces, waltzed in and around the college grounds oohing and ahing like mindless kittens being flashed with the dull glint of a 99p laser pointer. Then it…

Thou shalt not double-up on machine coffee, and other lessons I failed to learn at the Guardian

I wasn’t sure how to cover my time at the Observer on this weekly no-longer-being-a-student column, or whether the experience was worth broadcasting at all. I could have hashed together a detailed two-week report – but there are more entertaining, meticulously-crafted equivalents out there. I suppose I could have whipped up a local/national newspaper head-to-head (as I’ve lined up two weeks at the Ham & High to…

Bring back the CV; the alternative is much, much worse

This weekend I found myself rather abruptly struck with a curious affliction. While friends boarded a train headed for Central London (we decided to give this ‘prinking‘ fad a go), I decided – in my Vodka-addled state – instead of pursing a path that would inevitably lead to expunging choice bodily fluids, violently, that I would stagger back home, put on the…

It’s all downhill from here!

I can barely remember the tripe I sputtered on my first day at the Observer but it was something along the lines of: “Hi, my name is Keumars, and I can do words.” Evidently not very well. But, you see, I hadn’t thought that far ahead having barely figured out how to reach King’s Place in the first instance, and working…