Satire

Described by some as “quite entertaining” and by others as “in the newspaper,” you’ll find my full and definitive collection of satirical content, dating back to September 2011, below. This page will be updated and maintained based on how often I come up with this sort of tripe.

2014

Labour to make massive Dogecoin investment, vows balls
11/02/14 | QMessenger | Online

Queen Mary Valentines | Saucy tales from Mile End lovers (to be uploaded)
10/02/14 | QMessenger | Issue 84

Channel 4 charged with “inciting hatred” over Benefits Street (to be uploaded)
20/01/14 | QMessenger | Issue 83

Hollande “pillow talked” his way through press conference, say experts
15/01/14 | Keumars Afifi-Sabet

World leaders to counter climate change by setting off supervolcano
14/01/14 | Keumars Afifi-Sabet

2013

Senate House nukes up to deter bloody hippy students
14/12/13 | QMessenger | Online

QMSU Winter Ball: Murder on the dancefloor
10/12/13 | QMessenger | Online

Banter to be taught in schools, Cameron  pledges
03/12/13 | QMessenger | Online

QMSU goes to war with LSU over ‘abominable’ parody video
01/11/13 | QMessenger | Online

LEAKED: Tommy Robinson’s secret plans to become crime-fighting superhero #TommyRobinsonFiles
28/10/13 | QMessenger | Online & Issue 80

Elderly bank-robbing couple botch Santander heist
14/10/13 | QMessenger | Issue 79

Sid the Squirrel is here for you
30/09/13 | QMessenger | Issue 78

Premium seating coming to QM lecture halls
16/09/13 | QMessenger | Issue 77

“Miley Cyrus VMA routine a sophisticated metaphor for the Syrian conflict,” say experts
02/09/13 | QMessenger | Online

Queen Mary strikes landmark deal with Jobcentre Plus
25/08/13 | QMessenger | Online

EXCLUSIVE: News International lodges bid for QMessenger, Union decision imminent
25/03/13 | QMessenger | Issue 76

Editorial Retrosplurge | The last seven months of madness
Co-authored with Lucretia McCarthy
25/03/13 | QMessenger | Issue 76

Freddo price hike sparks mass rioting
12/03/13 | QMessenger | Issue 75

QMessenger looks at potential papal candidates
Co-authored with Lucretia McCarthy
25/02/13 | QMessenger | Issue 74

You really couldn’t make it up… Could you?
Co-authored with Lucretia McCarthy
25/02/13 | QMessenger | Issue 74

Hunt plans to roll out the new NHS Loyalty Card
25/02/13 | QMessenger | Issue 74

Murder: fun for all the family (shoebills)
28/01/13 | QMessenger | Issue 72

Recipe for disaster from Jamie Oliver
14/01/13 | QMessenger | Issue 71

2012

The Great Dark Era

Haunted Hive
05/03/12 | QMessenger | Issue 58

Secret Diary of Joseph Barton (to be uploaded) 
14/02/12  | CUB | Online

Boris fights economic crisis by banning snow
09/01/12 | QMessenger | Issue 51

2011

Y all the fuss? Letter ‘Y’ axed!
14/11/11 | QMessenger I Issue 46

MPs caught red-faced in riot
31/10/11 | QMessenger | Issue 45

Felines smarter than humans, study shows
24/10/11 | QMessenger | Issue 44

This back catalogue is incomplete. The list will be updated as and when I have the time to do so.

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